"CB" (jrcb) 05/20/2019 at 17:38 • Filed to: A softer world

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Probably a good reason why I’ m banned from lecturing at the community college. Anyway, happy Victoria Day!

For Sweden > CB 05/20/2019 at 17:45

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I always get started on slides, because I wear them in the shower.

Cash Rewards > CB 05/20/2019 at 17:50

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If you’re banned from teaching at a community college, I f eel there’s a story I'd bet is interesting

CB > Cash Rewards 05/20/2019 at 17:52

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Well, we’ll see what happens when I do some teaching at the local school next year!

PS9 > CB 05/20/2019 at 18:11

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Where are the bodies? The only way to get banned is if you got some bodies hidden somewhere and they found out, so where are they? 

CB > PS9 05/20/2019 at 18:20

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Funny story: there was a professor at a university who the police worked with frequently when they found human remains, since he was considered an expert when it came to decomposition. He had a personal phone, a work phone, and the police phone. Whenever the police phone rang, class was over for the day, because clearly there were more important things going on.

So, one day, the phone goes off, class gets dismissed, and he takes the call: the police received a call of possible remains and women’s underwear being dug up in a field. They give him the location, and it’s familiar to him. Well, funny enough, he had actually been doing research at that spot, putting bras on pig carcasses to see how the clasps dug into the skin while decomposing, in order to use that as another method in order to figure out how long the bodies had been there. And sure enough, the remains were pigs.

So, he had a bit of explaining to do, but it’s proof that sometimes you still won’t lose your job over some bodies.

Aremmes > CB 05/20/2019 at 18:29

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Police and pigs in the same story. The best jokes write themselves.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Aremmes 05/20/2019 at 20:05

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Kinda like how some friends and I back in high school  made the mistake of stumbling into a donut shop while drunk off our asses...

Aremmes > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. 05/20/2019 at 21:22

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The one non-Dunkin donut shop near my house has a wall covered in “baseball” cards with pictures of the members of the local PD. There's a sports bar next door. I'll have to ask them some day.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Aremmes 05/20/2019 at 21:29

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Of all the places we could have gone that night... It just goes to show you the stupid decisions you can make whilst drunk. At least we walked and didn’t drive there. I thought it was just around the corner from where we were, but it turned out to be at least a mile away, maybe two . And this incident created a line that still cracks those guys up even today when reminiscing - “Dave? You know what we need, Dave? We need donuts , Dave...”

How we managed to survive or teenage years I’ll never understand...